I really wish this could be some great hilarious and witty post about my adventures here in Europe, but it’s just the opposite. Life changes, people change, decisions are made, and mistakes happen. People who I thought were my friends, are not. Things I thought I wanted, I do not. Decisions I thought I made for the best, might have been for the worst.

I feel like I’ve lost me. But did I really lose me, or the person that someone else had me made out to be? Regardless, I know that I’ve picked up a few pieces that are helping to put me together. It’s going to be a long while before I’m all together. I will not say again, though, because how many people in their mid 20′s are really “put together”? I don’t think I have ever been together.

Thank you Drunken Intellect readers, the few who have been dedicated to reading our blog. It’s been a strange year of sorts, but it wasn’t all bad. No matter how bad I think I have it, or my life has been, there are always others who are having it worse. I don’t know if this will be the last post, but it is the last one from me. With every ending, there is a new beginning. That statement rings loud and true, and I am ready for my new beginning.

Sister BB

The ONLY limits we have are the limits we believe. Dr. Wayne Dyer

I’ve been listening to some wonderful advice (Abraham Hicks) on the LAW OF ATTRACTION.

I’ve listened to and understood this concept for a few years now. But I have seemed to let the contrast of life just take over. Instead of making that contrast allow abundance into my life. Me you the entire universe can have ANYTHING we desire. ANYTHING. That is limitless, money, a partner you have been searching for, the perfect job. It sounds like a Disney movie in the making, but I believe it is all possible.

I desire to tap in to this limitless power. To have anything I want. I want to to close this gap in my life. There is a void, and I fill it with nicotine, alcohol. Those substances numb me to the discord I feel. I don’t want discord anymore, I want happiness and to say I have it without anything that is chemically induced. I know I have that power within me to do so. How about YOU? Do you feel this longing to be something more. Do you feel those glimpses of infinite source that you sometimes tap into. Don’t you want to feel that more.

I know that all of us our infinite beings living in a wonderful time space reality. I hope if you are reading my post you test the LAW OF ATTRACTION. Hitting all green lights is MY favorite small step! It is SO exhilarating!

Love
Sharkin

Now this is something I’m sure I’ve hit on in other posts, but I thought it was definitely something worth focusing on again.  Honestly I think most people that experience what they consider to be a failed relationship focus on just that thought… that it was a failure.  If you’re anything like me though, you think a little beyond the word failure.  You have to take the time to think how that experience helped you develop.  What is it that you can take away from that experience??

I’m the type of person that just can’t possibly see any relationship as a failure.  I believe that each relationship we experience in our lives was meant to happen to help all parties involved.  Some may carry more impact than others, but none the less still carry an impact.  Did it show me that I need to take more time to appreciate just how good that person was to me or for me?  Did it show me that I need to work on expressing my feelings towards someone to show them just how much they mean to me?  Do I need to realize that it just isn’t always about me and how I can go above and beyond to make that other person happy??

At some point in time you have to realize that what has happened in the past is the past.  If you can expand the way you view those experiences of the past you set yourself up for success.  You take what you’ve experienced and use it to your benefit to be a better person from this point on… no excuses.  Do or do not… there is not try!

I am not writing this post to push my opinions on anyone or even get agreement. This post is to clarify, maybe only to myself what exactly I mean whenever I go into one of my infamous rants.

I talk to people a lot about the three subjects I mentioned previously. I don’t ever open up conversations on religion expecting people to agree with me, or listen to me for that matter. I like to start these conversations, just to see how many people are willing to listen to another’s point of view. And let me tell you, there aren’t many. I get asked what my beliefs are, and when they’re not the same as the individual I’m speaking to, things turn awry. Either that person gets angry with me, or they try to tell me I’m wrong with how I believe. That’s confusing to me because you see, they are MY beliefs.

I tend to get a bit more agreement on the politics side of my discussions. I’m not going to say I’m liberal and I’m not going to say I’m conservative. I believe in equal rights for all and that the two political parties have ruined our “great” nation.

But, this post isn’t about religion or two party politics. It’s about exactly what the title states, “Support”. Support of what? Support of Government and Military. I open my mouth and spout off what I think about our government as a whole and what I think about the war that’s going on right now, but all this comes off as a bit bleak to people that listen to me. I don’t have a positive outlook on the world around us, and haven’t for some time.

My opinions on the government are much the same as that of the late George Carlin. I believe he had a VERY realistic approach to what’s going on in the world, and he just might have been right. Realism is a scary thought. People want to walk along in their lives with blinders on to what’s really going on, and that’s just fine. Everyone in America is entitled to do so. That’s our right.

I do not support the war. Mainly, because I can’t come up with a valid reason for it. No one has ever really made sense of what’s going on. In a non over-analyzing way, I get “Operation Enduring Freedom”. I realize that we are trying to help these countries gain their own freedom and independence. But, in all honesty, I think it goes much deeper than that. Let’s get one thing straight before I continue; Just because I don’t support the war, doesn’t mean I don’t support our troops.

People who join the military give up their own rights so that the people of America can feel safe and say whatever it is they feel like saying. Freedom, right? I used to think so. I used to think, like most everyone else, our military is fighting for our freedom. But, then I got to thinking. We as a nation haven’t really fought for our freedom since WWII. I’m not trying to ruffle feathers, but when was the last time anyone heard Osama Bin Laden’s name on the news? I realize our country was attacked 9 1/2 years ago, but our freedom wasn’t jeopardized.

The soldiers, sailors, and airmen that make up our US Military are brave. They deserve all the support we can give them. Because they chose to be in the line of fire and to fight for what they believe in. That deserves respect at the least. My heart goes out for the Airmen that were shot last week in Frankfurt. One was on a mission to deploy in the Middle East, while the other was just driving a bus. He was the unlucky one that got picked that day to drive to the airport.

But, let me say this. Those two young men didn’t have to lose their lives. It could have been prevented. Just simple awareness. They were probably ordered to be in their uniforms, carrying  military luggage. And the young man driving that bus? He was just at work, another day on the job. Speaking of bus, it was blue and had Air Force written on it. If all these circumstances didn’t make them targets, I don’t know what did. If all of these things hadn’t been factored in, we might not have lost two brave men.

To some people, it may sound blasphemous for me to speak this way. I can understand points of view. But I can’t understand what’s going on with our world right now. Everything is so backwards and crazy. No one seems to notice. No one seems to care. If I have angered or offended anyone, that was not my intention, as stated before. I just want people to open up their minds and look around them. See what’s really happening. I can’t do this alone.

BB

Wanting to shower and get ready for the night, we were going to stop and head home after the second round. But then the first “Are you Zac Brown?” happened. Drunk me rolled with it and said, “Yes.” A waitress from another section had asked on her table’s behalf, but she had no clue who he was. That didn’t stop her from telling other waitresses and waiters that Zac Brown was in the house. Girls at the table next to us decided to come sit with us and join in on the fun. They got a kick out of the whole stunt and having 7 or 8 girls hang out with us actually helped add to the famous singer’s mystique.

As the evening rolled on, more and more people were asking if I was him. My first “Can I have your autograph?” really got me going. On her Cain and Abel’s shirt, with a sharpie I signed “Zack Brown” on her boob, which got a lot of attention in the bar. People were now staring. My attention-whore self started soaking it up like a sponge. I just kept my Wayfarer’s on and continued playing the part of the Grammy award-winning singer. Why not? We were having a grand old time.

Stuff was getting kind of hazy after a few rounds, but one thing you always have to do when you drink is go to the bathroom. Upon potty time, I heard a couple of guys saying that I really wasn’t him so what did I do? I approached them and said: “No I’m not really him.” They replied with what any other hormone-driven boy would: “Dude, you have every chick in here believin’ you are him!” and his buddy goes: “There are 6 girls waiting outside of the bathroom to take a picture with you!” *giggles* I was ecstatic.

After being swarmed by girls wanting pictures as I left the bathroom, I went back to our table. The jukebox started playing “Highway 20 Ride” and “Chicken Fried.” I started laughing uncontrollably and was told I needed to sing the songs. First off, I don’t sing. Second off, that would be how they figured me out. So I kept replying, “Hey, I just want to sit and chill here and have fun with my friends!” Because that’s what celebrities say, right? Shortly after this, as discretely as possible, we grabbed some of the girls and left to head downtown. The stares followed me out the door.

After being drunk from all the alcohol in that 5 and half hours of consumption, the rest of the night was a giant blur. A great giant blur. I learned a lot from that night: 1) I am completely awesome. 2) Drunk people (including myself) will believe someone is a celebrity just so they can say “I saw Zac Brown!” 3) Just because I say I am Zac Brown does not mean I have Zac Brown’s bank account.

The night was insane, epic, asinine, and awesome; every great emotion that could be felt. And this is how I invented a new level of drunkenness: Zac-Brown-Drunk!

What I found was a lot of people very conflicted about these hairs. Some people thought they might be dying, and others concluded it was a sign of immortality. But the biggest decision came as to whether or not to keep the rogue pubie. Some felt as though this hair had earned the right to keep it’s place of randomness because it had grown so big and massive very stealthfully and undetected.  Others felt as though because of it’s non-conformist attitude, it must be removed at once! There were some that believed that this hair was a reflection of their angst and anger, in hair form. The hormones raging inside them had boiled up so much, that it produced this deviant hair. After reading that I thought of the Willy Wonkas revolutionary nonpolutionary mechanical wonder, the confectionary giant! Button, button, who’s got the button? And when it’s all said and done, fanito! A random black hair growing out of my glorious trapezoidal muscle.

It disappoints me to know that out of all this distress I put myself through and let get to me, all I am able to produce with it is this unsightly hair. But maybe the meaning is more deeply rooted (pun intended).

http://drunkintellect.wordpress.com/2010/09/30/are-there-hidden-truths-in-dreams/

http://drunkintellect.wordpress.com/2011/02/22/hidden-truths-in-dreams-continued/

It was extremely late, but I had to at least kill a little bit of my curiosity about what I was dealing with before I made another feeble attempt to sleep.

After just a few minutes of searching I found a site with two techniques.  Now I chose to try the second technique that was listed.  The technique below is meant to be done while you’re laying down…

As your body begins to relax, and your breathing is in steady rhythm picture yourself resting in a hammock as it sways back and forth. Feel the wind over your body as you are completely relaxed going back and forth. Repeat this process, continue until you can feel the vibrations that are a symptom of pre projection.

Be aware of your vibrational changes. If you begin to feel as if your are feeling tingles, buzzing, rapid heart rate and vibrations all over your body you are close to take off and your first out of body experience with these techniques.

So I decided to give it a shot.  After laying there for several minutes I began to feel like I was actually in a hammock.  When My entire body starting tingling I realized this was not a joke.  I literally felt my body begin to feel like it was rising up.  I could be my eyes start to dance behind my eyelids and soon after that I was out…

I was able to completely clear my mind and focus on absolutely nothing except relaxing.  I went to a strange place that did involve some kind of global outbreak of sorts.  People were infected and similar to zombies, but not exactly like what we’ve seen in movies.  Now there was a way to decontaminate yourself if you weren’t completely infected and I ended up in some kind of facility like that.

I was with people I do not personally know.  People all around me were infected.  I was with 2 other people and I was trying to help cure this man from the apparent infection.  Like I said before I have absolutely no clue who he was.  Just as he almost became fully infected we were able to save him and just as that happened a voice from a megaphone called us from outside.

We came out of the building to what seemed like a giant black train carrying people that weren’t infected somewhere.  We climbed into these train cars that were not enclosed and I was next to this red headed girl.  She seemed about my age.  The train was moving so fast that it seemed like we were going to fly out.  We held on to each other for dear life.  We knew we were going somewhere safe we were just going incredibly fast.

Just as I thought we were close to flying out of the train… WHAM!!!!  I was back in my body.  Now I started out on my back and woke up in curled up ball on my side.  I literally felt like someone had just slammed me back in my bed and my entire body felt like it was on fire because it was tingling SO bad.  My heart was racing like crazy and for several seconds I felt like I had trouble moving.  I glanced at the clock to see that only an hour had passed by since I layed back down to try this out.

I layed there for a few minutes just trying to take it all in and think about what happened.  I was absolutely speechless.  I just layed there in shock and awe.  A few minutes later I was asleep…

As I layed in bed.. images of what seemed to be a past life danced in my head.  For the third night in a row now I’ve had trouble falling asleep.  That reoccurring dream has repeated itself the past two nights in a row.

At first I tried to just clear my head the best I could, but that was not working in the least bit.  My mind uncontrollably jumped from memory to memory.  I’ll tell you it’s maddening at times trying to figure out what your mind is doing to you.  So I reread my original post and then read over the comments to get the wheels turning.

After reading Sharkin’s comment I felt the electrical impulses of my brain go a tad haywire.  What missing links could I possibly be trying to recover?!?!  The repetitiveness of these dreams have gone on for a while, and after what seems to be 100 of them I feel no closer to answers then the first time.

The thought of multiple lifetimes together is mind blowing enough.. maybe I should have put on my motorcycle helmet before typing this to avoid the mess of brain chunks that has been made.  After reading over Sharkin’s comment again.. I can’t help but wonder if I am searching for some kind of missing link then why does the dream have the same backbone every time?!?!

Maybe I am on this astral plane, but I haven’t developed the skills to have some degree of control over it yet.  My mind could be repeatedly catapulting me there to keep reminding me there is something to be found.. only I just haven’t figured out exactly how to go about finding it.

I should probably do a little astral plane research to possibly work to my advantage.  Definitely should probably consult with Sharkin sometime in the very near future for some much needed assistance.  For now though I go back to bed with a large number of questions and no answers.

Since Larry’s I have been on a vigilant hunt for ANY dressing that comes close. I have tried EVERY dressing at the local grocery store. I am disappointed EVERY time. I have tried tirelessly to re-create the Larry’s legend of dressing. I even have a husband who has cooked for FAMOUS people who cannot seem to replicate my holy grail.

I have the delicious salad ingredients just sitting in my fridge right now. And as my stomach rumbles, I won’t even dare to try and come up with that mouth watering deliciousness. And yes, as fate would have it, Larry’s is NO longer in business. A part of me died when I found out. The dressing would come in a plastic ramican tightly bound in saran wrap. All the herbs were in the bottom of the ramican, and the oil set gently on top. A few good shakes and bits of JESUS awaited the palet.

I won’t give up, I will still be on my never ending quest. And hopefully I will perfect the LEGENDARY LARRY’S ITALIAN DRESSING.